THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT

THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT

Exodus 20:12 states;
“Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you”.

The dictionary meaning of the word ‘honour’ indicates a form of moral duty and a conventional standard of conduct.
So, does this commandment only apply to children or minors, or does it also apply to older folk?
I believe it does, going by Romans 1:30 and 2Tim 3:2, where Paul was obviously talking about adults. And, if I may be so bold, it was also God’s intention to have it that way, through a system of hierarchy; youth honouring parents and parents honouring grandparents, thus producing the benefits of ‘family’ ties!
The word F-A-M-I-L-Y could stand for...Father- And- Mother- I- Love- You!??
It’s worth a mention here, that the age of maturity or consent in the bible is 20yrs, mentioned often, (Exodus 30:14; Num 1:3; Num 14:29 and 1Chronicles 23:24) but for some reason in a lot of countries it was decided that 21 was better, then later, that 18 should be it!!!!

We seem to have been hard wired to this system of hierarchy, and this became evident to me during my years of living and working in PNG, and here in Australia in remote Aboriginal communities, but I might add, not as a missionary!!! These tribes of people, plus plenty of others obviously relied on this system for survival.
The elders of the tribes, because of years of accumulated knowledge about what to eat and where to find water etc, had to be respected and learned from in order for the younger ones to take over that role in the future, and those younger ones were kept strictly in line!!
I actually witnessed a disciplinary action by an Aboriginal elder when a teenage son repeatedly interfered and spoke out of turn; he was speared in the calf muscle, and bore the pain of that for a few days” to remind him of his place”, as the elder told me!!
And of course there is the story of a rebellious son needing to be stoned to death in Deut 21:18-21!! Talk about tough love!!!
Fortunately the New Testament teaches more about forgiveness, albeit with conditions? This will be discussed in another article!
However, the apostle Paul still reminded us of how to maintain parent/child relationships! “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right”. (Ephesians 6:1) “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord”.
(Verse 4)

My point to all this, is to emphasize that respect and honour, not only to our immediate parents, but also to elders in our own community, has to be maintained by generation after generation in order for mankind to survive, and to live in peace with his neighbour! The system breaks down when someone doesn’t obey their parents, and/or the parents don’t care, and if grandparents make suggestions, they are told to ‘butt out’??
The apostle Paul countered this in 1Timothy 5:1&2. “Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity”.
So, where did it all go wrong, why are we having so many problems with our youth today, people say?
I believe it’s because we are having so many problems with our parents today!?
Have a good look at your own background. Did your parents maintain a unity over family discipline and moral standards?
Did you ever hear them shout at each other (or worse!!!), swear in front of you, drink too much, tell you lies about things and then chastise you for doing similar things; if you are a parent, have you been guilty of these things??
Shouldn’t all parents lead by example, to show moral leadership? I’ve so often heard that dealing with teenagers is so difficult.....my reply is that dealing with teenagers should begin when the teenager starts to walk!!! But, the standards you set back then have to be maintained forever!
You can’t just say ‘Oh they are adults now, so if I play up it won’t matter’; your grandchildren will need to see the same standards from their grandparents??

But what are these moral standards we are supposed to teach our kids, and who determines them??
Well, there are really only two sources to obtain them from.....man or God!
There are about 8 occasions in the New Testament where the 5th commandment is referred to. But, there are about 23 places that morals are referred to that weren’t in the big ten!!
In Romans 1:29-32, Galatians 5:19-21 and 2Tim 3:2-4 Paul really went to town, using 3 whole verses to describe them, and out of all the morals quoted, only a few were from the ten commandments!!??
Paul also said “Those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God”. (Gal 5:21)

The point I make here is, that the lists Paul made in those three books mentioned above, are the things we should be teaching our kids to avoid; setting an example by avoiding them ourselves, so our kids can honour us.
Paul gave the alternative, saying, “But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law”. (Gal 5:22-23)

So whether you are still single, a parent or grandparent, the value and depth of the 5th commandment permeates right through society and has an effect on all of us, especially when a link in the chain is broken, and the link can be broken anywhere, not just with the young!
Yes, I can hear the groans of ‘Oh but it’s too difficult today; you are called a prude if you try to maintain those morals’!! And that is true, we seem to just ‘go along with it’, because that’s the easy path! Jesus advised against that in Math 7:9-14! (Includes the golden rule-verse 12)

On the other side of this, we need to consider abusive parents? Can someone who has been ill treated or abused (physically or emotionally) still honour or respect them?? However, there are also cases of old people being abused by their offspring, so it’s a two edged sword, isn’t it?
Jesus warned in Math 18:6, “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea”. So, although the young are to honour their elders, the elders cannot ill treat the young ones, reiterated by Paul in Ephesians 6:4 as quoted previously!

Loving your neighbour as yourself surely includes your direct relatives as well.....doesn’t it?
But in the end, both the young and adults are responsible for their own actions, quoted in both testaments! (Deut 24:16 and James 4:17) They just have to work together to maintain peace and love for each other, as Jesus advised in John 13:34-35.
When, as a parent you hear your adult kids call you ‘the best dad ever’ on fathers’ day, and frequently say “I love you dad” you realise you have achieved something!
But then, I also had the best parents ever!
People might say I was just lucky, but my parents took the same stand on principles as I have, and it has worked?
As always, my articles are designed to provoke thought, so please feel free to comment!?

Peace to all, Colin Bowater.